'First Star I See Tonight..'

12:21am. I walked outside to catch my breath. Actually.. to just TAKE a breath. I looked up at the stars just as I always do when I step outside to listen to the thoughts I've repressed for the whole day. They still sparkled with mystery. They still looked down on me the same way they always have. Watching my every move, ever so silently begging me to wish upon one of them. Every other night I've made a wish, closing my eyes and sending it up towards the shimmering ocean of stars hoping at least one of them would catch it. I sat there for what seemed like hours. Then with the quick jerk of my head, I regained full consciousness of my surroundings. Still sitting there alone, still overwhelmed and drowning in my thoughts. Today was the same color as yesterday, just a slightly different shade. And all the faces in the crowd were blank with no expression. Every face, that is, but mine. I felt like the only bit of color in a black and white movie. The only one speaking in a silent film. At first glance, today would seem irrelevant... like just another day to check off of the calender of life. But today wasn't pointless. At times it felt that way, but there's a hint of 'purpose' in the air and I decided to breathe it in while shooting my wish towards the sky.. expecting nothing but the unexpected.

Listen To Your Heart

Exactly 1:00am. I sat on the end of my porch and soaked up all the September in the air. The wind was blowing in every direction, the moon peaked out from the blanket of thick grey storm clouds. No chance of precipitation. The clouds just merely 'existed'. Perhaps just as a reminder that my burden could be heavier, my days could be rainier, and my heart could be in more pieces than it is right now. Either way, the sky was picture perfect. My life.. not so much. I closed my eyes for a brief second and the wind that had just been hurling all around me, seemed to stop dead in its tracks. I thought, "So this is what peace feels like." It felt strange, foreign. It felt like I was stealing something that wasn't mine. I took a deep breath, not even the air I was breathing felt like it belonged to me.  In the still silence of this chaos, my heart screamed "Listen!", and for the first time in a long time I heard my heart speaking louder than the loud voice in my mind that had always been there convincing me of 'inevitable failure'. For a moment I relaxed.. and suddenly my heart and mind had a head on collision, causing me to remember who I am. A writer. 

Perfectly Imperfect

As much as I would like to.. I can't put anything too personal or add any names in this blog. Well, I suppose I could, but I'm the type of person that likes to get permission before doing things. (If you know me, then that just made you laugh.) But anyway, I'm on the road home ride now from Joplin Mo. And since I have a very limited amount of friends there anymore, it might seem kind of strange that I would have made a trip there. Well trust me, it wasn't any sort of vacation. In fact, it was more or less a tiny part of a very long drawn out punishment enforced by the state of Missouri. In other words.. I was obligated to appear before a Judge today. Those who know me, know exactly what I'm referring to. Let me just say this... if you ever think about drinking and driving.. DON'T. It shouldn't be taken lightly. It's very serious. Life is way too short to live with regrets... but this is one of mine. I happen to be extremely lucky that I was able to walk away from it. As I grow up, I am starting to realize that you don't have to wait for a tragedy before you decide to do things differently. I'm definitely not perfect. I'll just leave it at that. 
-Ters Out-

The Future is Now. :)

You ever wonder who you are? Why you're living? What you should do with your life? 

These are things that I have been pondering lately.

I like to think of myself as a dreamer.. but one thing that I've learned since graduating high school is that dreaming too much can sometimes become a hindrance. I've dreamed up a lot of dreams, I just haven't had the courage to do anything about them. I'm 21 years old and I only really know a few things about myself that I'm 100 percent sure of.  I know that I like art better than math, I like writing better than science, I like depth rather than being shallow, I like random more than organized. These things are just the tip of my creative iceberg. Speaking of iceberg.. I'm watching "Titanic". But anyway, I wanna know what your dreams are. I wanna know who you are.. what makes you tick.. what wakes you up in the morning. And also I want to know what makes you an individual.. because I know that you are. And by you... I mean anyone. :) 

Thought I'd just share these thoughts before resting my mind for the night.

-Ters Out-

You want it? Baby you got it.

This is a random blog about a few different things. :)

You know what's great about Batman? His extremely and ridiculously deep voice. That, and the really cool light thing that shines up in the sky. Ok, so I've seen "The Dark Knight" and my first thought was that it's one of those few movies that I'd actually watch again. Who wouldn't want to watch a magic trick that ends with a pencil jammed into someones head? Couldn't have pulled that one off better if I did it myself!

This one is a subject in which I'm well versed. I gotta say, i've seen people do some pretty stupid things when they were drinking. And I'll admit, I've done some things that would make Paris Hilton look smart! For example: attempting to do a cartwheel and landing on my face... bloody mouth and everything. Or riding a scooter down a hill. Or.. running. Or.. walking on a nature trail only to slide off into the river 3 feet below. Or locking myself in some random bathroom cause I couldn't remember how to work the lock. Needless to say, drunk people are idiots. (No offense to Lindsay Lohan.)

Oh Walmart... gotta love free entertainment. I'm guilty of just sitting on the bench outside and just watching people walk out. Why? Cause you can meet some crazy people at Walmart. That's where the freaks go when they get bored sitting at home. Me included. However, one thing that never changes is those kids that can't stop touching crap or saying "Mom...mom.. mom. Mommy, mother, mom!" And after like 20 minutes of this, even Ghandi would have slapped his kid. I know I probably would. It's pretty entertaining to watch mothers yell at their kids in a public place. Don't get me wrong... I think every kid needs to be corrected.. so i'm glad they at least try to make their child behave. What REALLY DRIVES ME NUTS..... are the parents that won't make their children behave! The ones that just keep taking the slim jim from their kid and putting it back, and putting it back, and putting it back, and putting it back, and putting it back, and putting it back, and putting it back, rather than just saying "NO!". Man I love people. Almost as much as I love sarcasm.

I............. LOVE leg warmers! They never shoulda gone out of style in the first place. I have a few pairs myself. And seriously, they'll keep your legs warm while showing the world just how fabulously stylish you are. If you don't have any, get some! Or just take the scissors to a pair of knee socks. And if you don't own any knee socks.. you and I need to have a little chat about how awesome they are and why you are punishing yourself by not participating in the knee sock club. Olivia Newton John wore legwarmers just as well as Lady Gaga wears waffles... which... I think I all know... is pretty dang well!

Sorry it took so long to blog again. I have a few ideas of what to do next. You're welcome to suggest anything!

-Ters Out-

Putting the "Idiot" in Idiosyncrasies. :|

Well... if there's one thing that makes me smile... it's knowing that I'm not the only one that gets more than a little irritated with people's little idiosyncrasies. So I conducted a little survey asking some of my fellow coworkers what their biggest pet peeve is when it comes to working with the public. Funny thing is... once they got started... it was hard to stop them! ;) So here we go. If you have anything you want to add.. feel free to add it in a comment.

Pet Peeves: Courtesy of my coworkers
(By the way.. there are MANY that aren't listed here.)


"When the customer brings in their own bags and they are barely big enough for 1 item but still gets 5 cents off."


"They take their time getting out there money, do they not realize we are timed?!"


"Customers handing you their money all crinkled or folded up."


"When a customer is on the phone and completely ignores you."


"When they expect you to know what the hell they are thinking."


"Customers complain about something you have no control over."


"When they question every single thing you do."


"When the put all different kinds of fruit in one bag and then tie it when they need to be weighed separately."

"It's annoying when your in express and someone tries to get by the person your helping."

"They let you ring up the entire order and THEN tell you that part of it is WIC."


"People who completely ignore the "close sign".


"When you ask them if they want their milk in a bag and they act like you should feel honored that they "let you" put it in a bag."

"I'm really tired of the joke, "If it doesn't ring up.. then I guess it's free, huh?""


-Ters Out-
:) Love ya all.

"I'm sorry... I just... don't really like you."

You know what tastes worst than anything in the entire world? Orange juice right after you brush your teeth.
Anyway, I've needed to vent about certain members  of the "celebrity life" that I just... well... I can't stand them. This is my top 10 list of celebrities that really make me wanna hit my head until I knock myself out.

10. Martha Stewart
I really don't even think I need to explain this one..

9. Tom Green
He is just.. nasty. And not in a good way!

8. Carrot Top
I just... hate him.

7. Joan Rivers
Please... stop claiming the right to judge everyone else's appearances. Who freakin' cares?!

6. Donald Trump
For GODS SAKE, SOMEONE TELL HIM HIS HAIR IS REPULSIVE!

5. EVERY SINGLE ONE of the Kardashians!
We live in a world where talent has absolutely NO IMPACT on who we choose to give a reality show to.

4. Kate Gosselin
Those poor babies would have been just fine without being in the spotlight 24/7. Kate was at the Emmy's this year...... WHY?

3. "The Situation"
Never seen Jersey Shore. Never want to. This guys nickname is enough to make me wanna puke.

2. Paris Hilton
Get a job.. get some talent.. get something!... besides arrested. (rolling my eyes)

1. Kelly Osbourne
I sincerely cannot stand her. Why? Because her existence in the public eye is POINTLESS.


Well.... there it is. I have a lot more to say about them but I figured I'd at least be a little graceful.
-Ters Out- :)

The Pestilential Public

Working with the public has become less than delightful on the days that it takes every inch of self control that I have left to be "polite and helpful".  The grocery store presents itself with people of many different personalities and walks of life.. most of which can be difficult to deal with at 7am.  I wish I had more patience when it comes to helping customers with a negative attitude.  Just once I wish I could speak my mind instead of smiling and saying to myself, "I love my job.. I love my job.. I love my job". However, I have a feeling I'd get myself into some trouble. But maybe people need to realize that us people working in public places, grocery stores, restaurants, convenience stores, and everything in between... we are only human. Here's what I'd like to say:

"Excuse me Sir or Ma'am,

contrary to popular belief, it is NOT my fault that your coupons are expired. It is NOT my fault the cherries are so expensive. It is NOT my fault that your discount card didn't work the first time you typed in the number. It is NOT my fault that we're extremely busy and there is no one available to help you out to your car with your groceries. It is NOT my fault we're out of the granola bars that you like. It is NOT my fault that I need to see your driver's licence.. (as inconveniently annoying as it is). And it is NOT my fault that you don't know where to find what you're looking for. Last time I checked, I wasn't the CEO of the company I work for.. so once again it's NOT my fault the items in the store have been rearranged. So if it's okay with you.. I'd appreciate being treated like your equal instead of an insignificant, unproductive, and inferior member of society.

Sincerely Irritated,

Grocery Store Girl. :)"

Declivity

Someone once said, "Do something today that scares you."  I always thought it was a cliche' with no place in my life.  Cause anyone close to me knows that I hate cliche's and I hate following.  I've always felt that I was born to lead.  Lead what?  Well... that's one thing I have yet to figure out.  However, on this journey of "self discovery" and "finding myself" (like every other 21 year old in the universe)... I have recently realized that life is extremely boring if you don't do something to scare the crap out of yourself from time to time.  Like talking to someone with which you have nothing in common.  Or trying a certain food that you've never heard of.  Or maybe.. riding that roller coaster that makes you nauseous just thinking about it.  Or standing up for yourself.  Or getting in the car with no destination.  I've done each of these things, but none of those things scare me anymore.  Funny how that works, huh?  Instead, letting others read what I write... no matter what it's about... that's what makes me squirm.  So that's exactly why I'm doing this. This is my own personal declivity leading to the bottom of my creative spring. 

By the way.. "Declivity" means: Descending slope.

This is it for today. :)

-Ters